When I was young, some TV shows were still in black and white. There were no microwaves. And when we grew bored, my mother would tell us to go outside and play.
Each of my kids has a computer and a cell phone. My 15-year-old has set up an elaborate stereo system. The 17-year-old just received an XBox 360 in addition to all his other video game systems. They all play World of Warcraft, in addition to other MMORPGs. And each gets a new computer every two years or so.
My mother says the kids are spoiled. As usual, she brings up my sister, saying that my sister only has one computer in the entire house. Well, my sister isn't homeschooling her kids, and her kids aren't separated from their friends in their old home town.
In addition, since the family doesn't use a landline, they're constantly talking or texting on their cells, and when someone's cell ring goes off, it's confusing finding the phone and figuring out whose it is. That would drive me nuts!
I don't closely monitor my kids' activities on the Internet any more. They learned the hard way after having to restore their hard drives when they visited porn sites and crack sites.
I'm the worst one when it comes to my computer. I email constantly, even if it's to my mom, who lives just across the highway. In fact, I prefer to email her because she has difficulty sleeping, and I hate to disturb her with a phone call. Email gives recipients the option of answering when they have the time, so I much prefer it to using the phone.
I record my schedule on Outlook. I contact potential employers via online portals and email. I developed the Web site, graphics and labels for my mom's and my infant venture via computer. I search out festivals. I take online classes.
And I play games. My kids think I'm a Text Twist junkie, but I like the way it makes my brain work differently. I used to play Diablo, but the kids broke my CD, and I'm too cheap to buy another.
I remember, way back when Atari had the best game systems, that I never thought I'd depend on computers this much. Boy, was I wrong!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Eating Out with Unruly Children
I received my tax return a while back, so I took the kids out to dinner at a Chinese buffet. They were pretty excited, because, since I lost my job, we've been eating at home most of the time.
It was a horrible experience!
Mr. 13-year-old "I'm-the-favorite" proclaimed that he didn't like Chinese food, so I spent $10 for him to eat macaroni and cheese and green beans. He also called his older brothers "fatty" several times...and, no, I don't believe he meant to put a ph in place of the f.
The hyper 15-year-old couldn't seem to stop swearing and talking about inappropriate (mostly vulgar) matters. He left a bigger mess around his plate than the dog would have. He was so out of control that I asked him several times whether he'd taken his meds.
The 16-year-old "I'm-your-only-good-kid" joined in on the vulgar verbal fun with his younger brother. In addition, he threatened the youngest with family excommunication if he didn't eat at least one piece of fried food!
Honest, I DID NOT raise these children this way.
And they usually aren't that bad. Granted, Hyper Boy is sloppy. I remember him falling asleep, face first, into his mashed potatoes when he was just a baby. And the youngest and oldest both love attention - whether good or bad.
But I was so embarrassed by their behavior, I threatened to never take them to a sit-down restaurant again. Although they attempted to act like it didn't bother them, the next time I took them, they behaved.
Of course, that could have been because my mother was there, and they knew if they misbehaved, they'd get THE LOOK!
It was a horrible experience!
Mr. 13-year-old "I'm-the-favorite" proclaimed that he didn't like Chinese food, so I spent $10 for him to eat macaroni and cheese and green beans. He also called his older brothers "fatty" several times...and, no, I don't believe he meant to put a ph in place of the f.
The hyper 15-year-old couldn't seem to stop swearing and talking about inappropriate (mostly vulgar) matters. He left a bigger mess around his plate than the dog would have. He was so out of control that I asked him several times whether he'd taken his meds.
The 16-year-old "I'm-your-only-good-kid" joined in on the vulgar verbal fun with his younger brother. In addition, he threatened the youngest with family excommunication if he didn't eat at least one piece of fried food!
Honest, I DID NOT raise these children this way.
And they usually aren't that bad. Granted, Hyper Boy is sloppy. I remember him falling asleep, face first, into his mashed potatoes when he was just a baby. And the youngest and oldest both love attention - whether good or bad.
But I was so embarrassed by their behavior, I threatened to never take them to a sit-down restaurant again. Although they attempted to act like it didn't bother them, the next time I took them, they behaved.
Of course, that could have been because my mother was there, and they knew if they misbehaved, they'd get THE LOOK!
Single Parents Should Always Plan for Custody Fight
If you're a single mom, you probably have an ex. And, even if you have full custody of your kids now or you have a great relationship with your ex and shared parenting, things may change.
Plan ahead for a custody battle. Always remember that a parent can initiate a custody fight at any time. That doesn't mean he'll win, but he can still make your life hell.
And if your life changes -- you remarry or begin a new relationship, you move, you lose your job, your child reaches the age of 12 or emotional maturity -- your ex is more likely to win a custody battle.
Don't believe that the same man who refused to change diapers, who never bothered to get up for midnight feedings and who parties every weekend will never want custody. He may want custody if he remarries or gets a steady girlfriend who will take care of the kids, if he doesn't want to pay child support or if he wants revenge.
It's important to plan ahead to prevent a custody fight and to win one if it does occur.
Documentation is key. In most states, you can record a conversation as long as one party knows about it. Save any negative communications. And try to have a witness around when your ex comes around.
Complain about your ex all you want to girlfriends and family if you have to vent. However, do not do it in front of the kids.
Now, this isn't as easy as you think. I'd advise not to even talk negatively about him on the phone, because the kids will hear about it. And, sometimes, kids will purposely misunderstand things he says because they want a reaction from you.
This doesn't mean you have to paint him as an angel. The truism "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" should apply.
And your kids will probably not make it easy for you. You will hear reports from them about your ex saying negative things about you.
The kids will also tell you that "Daddy" always lets them (pick a phrase)
Some exes say things that can't be easily verified. For example, I've heard of exes saying that the other parent didn't want the child. Again, you've got to think like an adult and help your child think rationally.
However, if your relationship gets that nasty, it might be wise to write a very polite and rational letter (saving a copy for your legal files) indicating that your child told you that your ex said this and asking for his help in reassuring the child.
By the way, always make sure your conversations, whether by phone, email or regular mail, are courteous, because they may be recorded. Even if it's not admissible in court, which it usually is, it can be used to poison the minds of those around you. If your ex hits a nerve, politely tell him that you can't talk and hang up immediately. I always write a letter, because it gives me time to think and phrase everything correctly. In addition, I get to choose the topic. Phone calls can go awry very easily, and emails are so quick, it's easy to write something offensive.
Another problem, even with the best of exes, occurs when they engage in unacceptable behavior. Unless the behavior is dangerous, such as a father giving a child drugs, it's best not even to comment to the child. Afterward, write a letter to the father.
Quite frankly, even if you think it's horrible that he took the kids to Hooters or let them watch a R-rated show, it probably isn't going to affect the kids as much as if you go ballistic.
When parents separate, it's always a good idea for them to draw up a list of rules for the children. Both parents should sign and date it. Then, if it comes down to it, one parent can't say she or he didn't know a certain action was objectionable.
Even if your ex refuses to participate, by sending this list of rules, you are communicating in a positive manner to your ex. If it ever comes down to court, you'll only benefit.
Plan ahead for a custody battle. Always remember that a parent can initiate a custody fight at any time. That doesn't mean he'll win, but he can still make your life hell.
And if your life changes -- you remarry or begin a new relationship, you move, you lose your job, your child reaches the age of 12 or emotional maturity -- your ex is more likely to win a custody battle.
Don't believe that the same man who refused to change diapers, who never bothered to get up for midnight feedings and who parties every weekend will never want custody. He may want custody if he remarries or gets a steady girlfriend who will take care of the kids, if he doesn't want to pay child support or if he wants revenge.
It's important to plan ahead to prevent a custody fight and to win one if it does occur.
Documentation is key. In most states, you can record a conversation as long as one party knows about it. Save any negative communications. And try to have a witness around when your ex comes around.
Complain about your ex all you want to girlfriends and family if you have to vent. However, do not do it in front of the kids.
Now, this isn't as easy as you think. I'd advise not to even talk negatively about him on the phone, because the kids will hear about it. And, sometimes, kids will purposely misunderstand things he says because they want a reaction from you.
This doesn't mean you have to paint him as an angel. The truism "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" should apply.
And your kids will probably not make it easy for you. You will hear reports from them about your ex saying negative things about you.
The kids will also tell you that "Daddy" always lets them (pick a phrase)
- eat at Hooter's
- stay up late playing video games
- watch R movies
- watch him and his girlfriend have sex.
- do drugs
- get drunk
- hit him
- yell at their paternal grandmother?
Some exes say things that can't be easily verified. For example, I've heard of exes saying that the other parent didn't want the child. Again, you've got to think like an adult and help your child think rationally.
However, if your relationship gets that nasty, it might be wise to write a very polite and rational letter (saving a copy for your legal files) indicating that your child told you that your ex said this and asking for his help in reassuring the child.
By the way, always make sure your conversations, whether by phone, email or regular mail, are courteous, because they may be recorded. Even if it's not admissible in court, which it usually is, it can be used to poison the minds of those around you. If your ex hits a nerve, politely tell him that you can't talk and hang up immediately. I always write a letter, because it gives me time to think and phrase everything correctly. In addition, I get to choose the topic. Phone calls can go awry very easily, and emails are so quick, it's easy to write something offensive.
Another problem, even with the best of exes, occurs when they engage in unacceptable behavior. Unless the behavior is dangerous, such as a father giving a child drugs, it's best not even to comment to the child. Afterward, write a letter to the father.
Quite frankly, even if you think it's horrible that he took the kids to Hooters or let them watch a R-rated show, it probably isn't going to affect the kids as much as if you go ballistic.
When parents separate, it's always a good idea for them to draw up a list of rules for the children. Both parents should sign and date it. Then, if it comes down to it, one parent can't say she or he didn't know a certain action was objectionable.
Even if your ex refuses to participate, by sending this list of rules, you are communicating in a positive manner to your ex. If it ever comes down to court, you'll only benefit.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Know the costs before getting a pet
My sister has four kids, one of whom is married. I have five kids, two of whom are on their own, plus four dogs and a cat.
My sister never goes to work with pet hair on her clothes. Her kids never have to scrub at an accident. They don't have to lug 40-lb. bags of dog food up a flight of stairs every couple of weeks. Her bathroom is never soaked from a 90-lb. dog shaking himself dry.
I feel so sorry for her.
Three of our dogs are rescue dogs. One of the dogs and the cat belong to my ex. I'm taking care of them until he can.
I hit Homer as a puppy when I was driving home on a dark night. He's now a 90-lb. lovable hunk of mutt who can wrestle my youngest to a standstill. Killer, a rat terrier, and Bowser, a fox terrier, were going to be taken to the pound by a co-worker who couldn't take care of them any more.
My kids are great with animals. Although one of the symptoms of ADHD is cruelty to animals, Hyper Boy is very loving and caring with them. In fact, when Homer is afraid to climb on my bed, because Libby, the 4-lb. queen of attitude, is growling at him, my son patiently coaxes him to jump up and curl up where it's safe.
The dogs have even attached themselves to certain people. I belong to Homer and Libby, and the two are constantly quarreling over my attention. Bowser is the 16-year-old's dog, probably because they're both laid back and friendly. Killer vacillates between the youngest two, mostly because he's too lazy to go downstairs to sleep with whoever has the basement bedroom.
And, after a surprise $240 electric bill caused me to turn my thermostat way down, I've truly learned the value of having a cuddly dog curled next to me. Libby crawls under the blankets and sleeps behind my knees. Killer goes under the blankets at my feet. And Homer curls up against my back. Since dogs have a higher body temperature than humans, it's like having three hot water bottles next to me. Now I know what a three-dog night is like.
Having animals has meant some sacrifices, like making sure someone's always there to care for them and paying for their food (four dogs eat a LOT). They've also chewed up two couches, two chairs and a stool. And I'm always stubbing my toes on the large rocks Homer brings in to play with. But I believe that they've helped make my kids caring and responsible.
The kids wash, feed and patch up the dogs. They train them. They even clean up after them although I usually have to remind them. When it's warm, we go to a local park and play "Keep Away".
Costs of Pet Ownership
But owning a pet is not all sunshine and sweetness. There are costs and dangers to owning a pet.
Families that adopt pets, whether they purchase them, find them or get them from a shelter, need to consider a number of factors.
1. Cost of food
2. Cost of health care (Killer was seriously injured last year, and it took over $100 [with my vet giving me a heck of a deal] and three vet visits to ensure he'd live.)
3. Cost of licensing
4. Potential cost of damage to property
5. Cost in time and lost opportunities
6. Potential danger
Some of these costs are explained in an Investopedia article by Jim McWhinney.
Food cost can range from a couple of dollars a week to $25 for a large dog on a special diet. For a while, my mother was feeding her picky little dog a special diet that included $3 a can food.
Cost of health care includes annual shots, flea treatments and heartworm treatments. I would also include other necessities, such as doggie shampoo, bedding, leashes and collars, brushes, nail trimmers, chew toys and dog toothpaste (dogs that eat soft food usually need to have their teeth brushed).
Health care also includes getting your pet fixed, which can range from $25 at a local humane society to $100.
If your county offers pet licenses, get one. It's invaluable if your dog gets lost.
I would also recommend getting your animal chipped or GPSed.
The GPS device hooks to the pet's collar. However, it costs close to $400 just for the device, not to mention the GPS service.
Putting a microchip under your pet's skin is cheaper, from $15 to $60. That price includes registration of the microchip number.
Another cost that potential pet owners often don't consider is damage to property. I don't care if you're the best doggie parent in the world, your dog is going to damage something. It's going to make a mess on the floor, it's going to chew your shoes, it's going to shed, and/or it's going to track in mud. If you can't handle it, you shouldn't own a pet (and you may want to think again about having kids, because they're much messier).
Although kids take a lot of time, most parents are somewhat prepared for those duties. Some people are surprised by how much time having pets takes. When Homer was a puppy, I had to wake up every three to four hours to let him out. Now that he's an adult, he can go from midnight to 6 a.m. Then, there's the time we take to make sure the dogs and cat have food and water. We give the dogs a bath every couple of weeks.
Dogs need exercise every day. We load three of the dogs (Bowser slips his leash) into the van when it's warm and take them to a nearby park. Since it's mostly deserted in the winter, we put them in a fenced-in baseball field and let them run and chase balls. It's a great way for us to get some exercise, too.
In addition, we have to make sure the trash is in sealed containers and clean it up if the dogs get into it. We have to clean up their messes if they vomit, urinate or defecate, which one of them does almost every day.
If we're going to be gone for a weekend, I have to pay the neighbor to come over, feed them and let them out. He's cheap, but the service I contacted was going to charge me $20 each time she came over.
And I don't like to leave the animals for more than a few days. This means that someone stays with the dogs or we take a couple with us.
If you rent, some building owners may refuse to rent to someone who has pets or charge a pet deposit. If you own your home, doors, screens and flooring will always take a beating.
Always remember that a child under 10 should never be left alone with an animal. No matter how friendly a dog, it will bite given the proper circumstances. And it's not fair to punish an animal for doing something that's within its nature.
When my now-22-year-old was just a year old, his father didn't watch him around a friendly pet at a family member's house. My son was just trying to be friendly, but he cornered the dog, the dog bit him in the face, and my son is scarred for life.
Even now, I see my kids doing stupid things around the dogs. They'll tease the dogs or blow in their ears and the dogs will snap. The kids have even been bitten, not because the dogs are violent, but because the kids were being stupid.
Although we have three to four dogs, I wouldn't recommend that any family have more than one pet of any species. It's just not fair to the animals. Just like kids, they get jealous.
For example, Homer and Bowser fight over attention and for dominance. Since Homer's so much bigger than Bowser, Bowser always gets hurt.
We took in Killer and Bowser, because they would have ended up dead at our local animal shelter, which has a phenomenally high kill rate. However, I'm trying to find a good home for Bowser, because he's the more adoptable animal.
Think ahead before you bring an animal into your home. Once they are there, they are your responsibility.
My sister never goes to work with pet hair on her clothes. Her kids never have to scrub at an accident. They don't have to lug 40-lb. bags of dog food up a flight of stairs every couple of weeks. Her bathroom is never soaked from a 90-lb. dog shaking himself dry.
I feel so sorry for her.
Three of our dogs are rescue dogs. One of the dogs and the cat belong to my ex. I'm taking care of them until he can.
I hit Homer as a puppy when I was driving home on a dark night. He's now a 90-lb. lovable hunk of mutt who can wrestle my youngest to a standstill. Killer, a rat terrier, and Bowser, a fox terrier, were going to be taken to the pound by a co-worker who couldn't take care of them any more.
My kids are great with animals. Although one of the symptoms of ADHD is cruelty to animals, Hyper Boy is very loving and caring with them. In fact, when Homer is afraid to climb on my bed, because Libby, the 4-lb. queen of attitude, is growling at him, my son patiently coaxes him to jump up and curl up where it's safe.
The dogs have even attached themselves to certain people. I belong to Homer and Libby, and the two are constantly quarreling over my attention. Bowser is the 16-year-old's dog, probably because they're both laid back and friendly. Killer vacillates between the youngest two, mostly because he's too lazy to go downstairs to sleep with whoever has the basement bedroom.
And, after a surprise $240 electric bill caused me to turn my thermostat way down, I've truly learned the value of having a cuddly dog curled next to me. Libby crawls under the blankets and sleeps behind my knees. Killer goes under the blankets at my feet. And Homer curls up against my back. Since dogs have a higher body temperature than humans, it's like having three hot water bottles next to me. Now I know what a three-dog night is like.
Having animals has meant some sacrifices, like making sure someone's always there to care for them and paying for their food (four dogs eat a LOT). They've also chewed up two couches, two chairs and a stool. And I'm always stubbing my toes on the large rocks Homer brings in to play with. But I believe that they've helped make my kids caring and responsible.
The kids wash, feed and patch up the dogs. They train them. They even clean up after them although I usually have to remind them. When it's warm, we go to a local park and play "Keep Away".
Costs of Pet Ownership
But owning a pet is not all sunshine and sweetness. There are costs and dangers to owning a pet.
Families that adopt pets, whether they purchase them, find them or get them from a shelter, need to consider a number of factors.
1. Cost of food
2. Cost of health care (Killer was seriously injured last year, and it took over $100 [with my vet giving me a heck of a deal] and three vet visits to ensure he'd live.)
3. Cost of licensing
4. Potential cost of damage to property
5. Cost in time and lost opportunities
6. Potential danger
Some of these costs are explained in an Investopedia article by Jim McWhinney.
Food cost can range from a couple of dollars a week to $25 for a large dog on a special diet. For a while, my mother was feeding her picky little dog a special diet that included $3 a can food.
Cost of health care includes annual shots, flea treatments and heartworm treatments. I would also include other necessities, such as doggie shampoo, bedding, leashes and collars, brushes, nail trimmers, chew toys and dog toothpaste (dogs that eat soft food usually need to have their teeth brushed).
Health care also includes getting your pet fixed, which can range from $25 at a local humane society to $100.
If your county offers pet licenses, get one. It's invaluable if your dog gets lost.
I would also recommend getting your animal chipped or GPSed.
The GPS device hooks to the pet's collar. However, it costs close to $400 just for the device, not to mention the GPS service.
Putting a microchip under your pet's skin is cheaper, from $15 to $60. That price includes registration of the microchip number.
Another cost that potential pet owners often don't consider is damage to property. I don't care if you're the best doggie parent in the world, your dog is going to damage something. It's going to make a mess on the floor, it's going to chew your shoes, it's going to shed, and/or it's going to track in mud. If you can't handle it, you shouldn't own a pet (and you may want to think again about having kids, because they're much messier).
Although kids take a lot of time, most parents are somewhat prepared for those duties. Some people are surprised by how much time having pets takes. When Homer was a puppy, I had to wake up every three to four hours to let him out. Now that he's an adult, he can go from midnight to 6 a.m. Then, there's the time we take to make sure the dogs and cat have food and water. We give the dogs a bath every couple of weeks.
Dogs need exercise every day. We load three of the dogs (Bowser slips his leash) into the van when it's warm and take them to a nearby park. Since it's mostly deserted in the winter, we put them in a fenced-in baseball field and let them run and chase balls. It's a great way for us to get some exercise, too.
In addition, we have to make sure the trash is in sealed containers and clean it up if the dogs get into it. We have to clean up their messes if they vomit, urinate or defecate, which one of them does almost every day.
If we're going to be gone for a weekend, I have to pay the neighbor to come over, feed them and let them out. He's cheap, but the service I contacted was going to charge me $20 each time she came over.
And I don't like to leave the animals for more than a few days. This means that someone stays with the dogs or we take a couple with us.
If you rent, some building owners may refuse to rent to someone who has pets or charge a pet deposit. If you own your home, doors, screens and flooring will always take a beating.
Always remember that a child under 10 should never be left alone with an animal. No matter how friendly a dog, it will bite given the proper circumstances. And it's not fair to punish an animal for doing something that's within its nature.
When my now-22-year-old was just a year old, his father didn't watch him around a friendly pet at a family member's house. My son was just trying to be friendly, but he cornered the dog, the dog bit him in the face, and my son is scarred for life.
Even now, I see my kids doing stupid things around the dogs. They'll tease the dogs or blow in their ears and the dogs will snap. The kids have even been bitten, not because the dogs are violent, but because the kids were being stupid.
Although we have three to four dogs, I wouldn't recommend that any family have more than one pet of any species. It's just not fair to the animals. Just like kids, they get jealous.
For example, Homer and Bowser fight over attention and for dominance. Since Homer's so much bigger than Bowser, Bowser always gets hurt.
We took in Killer and Bowser, because they would have ended up dead at our local animal shelter, which has a phenomenally high kill rate. However, I'm trying to find a good home for Bowser, because he's the more adoptable animal.
Think ahead before you bring an animal into your home. Once they are there, they are your responsibility.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Job Hunt
I knew it was coming.
The small factory where I worked as systems administrator had always needed investor support. With the downturn in the economy, the investors had already seen the value of their holdings plummet. And even though most small factories don't show a profit for several years, they wanted results or else.
Or else is what they got, and they closed the facility in late January of this year. Approximately 15 people were out of a job in the worst job-seeking market in a quarter century.
Confident that, with my IT and writing skills, I would have no problem finding another job, I searched the local Help Wanted classifieds, as well as WaHM, iFreelance, Sologig and Craigslist. I started LinkedIn and Spoke entries. I asked my former boss to write a recommendation, and he did.
The local newspapers in the rural area where I live are biweekly at best. And there were entire issues without one single job listing. Snagajob, Yahoo Hot Jobs, Indeed, CareerBuilder, and even the state department of labor only offered low-level service jobs or jobs in the medical field.
On Craigslist, there were plenty of information technology jobs...if I wanted to move to Atlanta.
And although I've been a writer and editor for more than a quarter century, my portfolio isn't up to date. My last few writing jobs have been for local media about local activities.
Many of the freelance jobs seemed to request a lot of work for very little pay. I just can't get into spending an hour researching and writing an article for $5 to $10. I'm a perfectionist about my work, and although I can write about anything, research usually takes some time. And some of these jobs appeared to be posted by individuals, which usually means pay problems. Perhaps I'm being too picky, but online freelance may well be my last alternative.
So, while I update my skills and my portfolio, I decided to work with my mother, the sewing whiz, to make hats, purses and quilts to sell at local shows. The mountain hats are at left, and the fringed quilt is next to it. We have baby quilts and lap quilts and can even custom make a quilt in your chosen colors. Below are images of our work.
The small factory where I worked as systems administrator had always needed investor support. With the downturn in the economy, the investors had already seen the value of their holdings plummet. And even though most small factories don't show a profit for several years, they wanted results or else.
Or else is what they got, and they closed the facility in late January of this year. Approximately 15 people were out of a job in the worst job-seeking market in a quarter century.
Confident that, with my IT and writing skills, I would have no problem finding another job, I searched the local Help Wanted classifieds, as well as WaHM, iFreelance, Sologig and Craigslist. I started LinkedIn and Spoke entries. I asked my former boss to write a recommendation, and he did.
The local newspapers in the rural area where I live are biweekly at best. And there were entire issues without one single job listing. Snagajob, Yahoo Hot Jobs, Indeed, CareerBuilder, and even the state department of labor only offered low-level service jobs or jobs in the medical field.
On Craigslist, there were plenty of information technology jobs...if I wanted to move to Atlanta.
And although I've been a writer and editor for more than a quarter century, my portfolio isn't up to date. My last few writing jobs have been for local media about local activities.
Many of the freelance jobs seemed to request a lot of work for very little pay. I just can't get into spending an hour researching and writing an article for $5 to $10. I'm a perfectionist about my work, and although I can write about anything, research usually takes some time. And some of these jobs appeared to be posted by individuals, which usually means pay problems. Perhaps I'm being too picky, but online freelance may well be my last alternative.
So, while I update my skills and my portfolio, I decided to work with my mother, the sewing whiz, to make hats, purses and quilts to sell at local shows. The mountain hats are at left, and the fringed quilt is next to it. We have baby quilts and lap quilts and can even custom make a quilt in your chosen colors. Below are images of our work.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Single Working Parent Homeschooling Part V
Part V: Legal requirements
Requirements vary state by state
Most states require that homeschool families document attendance. Some require registration, documentation of work, accredited curricula, testing and approval by the local board of education. About.com and the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) have links to homeschool rules for each state.
Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Texas do not require notice or follow-up. Utah, New Mexico, California, Alabama and Arizona only require that the fact that the child is being homeschooled be reported to the state. However, California requires that a parent establish a private school in order to exempt a student from compulsory public school attendance.
Colorado, Florida, Maine, Maryland, Oregon, Ohio, Virginia and West Virginia require notification and follow-up, as well as periodic testing and evaluation by the local school board. Rhode Island, Massachusetts, North Dakota, New York, Vermont and Pennsylvania monitor the student's progress closely, with some districts requiring curriculum approval, teacher qualification for parents, state-mandated school official visits, frequent tests and evaluations.
Many states mandate national achievement tests
Many states require homeschooled students to take nationally accredited tests, such as the California Achievement Test, on a regular basis. Here in Georgia, they must take them every three years. Many schools will push tests that require you to pay out about $100 and attend a special testing session, most of which are held in large metropolitan area.
My advice is to ask which tests are accepted by the school district. Even if a type of test is not listed, you may be able to persuade your local board of education to put it onto the accepted list if other school districts accept it.
My child was able to take the Iowa achievement test through Bob Jones University Press because I have a bachelor's degree. It was under $100 for the tester application and the test, and he was able to take the test at home.
This was much easier than taking off work and traveling two hours to the closest test site.
You will likely meet some resistance if you want to use an accredited test that is not the usual one used in the district. However, if you homeschool, you should be accustomed to that.
Divorce and custody issues
Legal issues with homeschooling don't always deal with education. If you are a divorced parent, your ex may attempt to use the fact that you're homeschooling in court.
This is one reason why it's important to have a written curriculum, documentation of attendance and records of work done. Most judges are fairly ignorant about homeschooling, but if you can show that you're organized, they'll accept it.
Another problem occurs if the homeschooled child spends part of the time with a parent who has agreed to homeschool him but doesn't.
When I moved, my ex and I agreed to do this. I wrote the curriculum, I assigned the work, and I even agreed to check all the work. All my ex had to do was make sure the kids did the work and sent it in. He flubbed it!
He told the kids the work was too hard for them, when, in reality, it was too difficult for him! He lied for the kids when they didn't turn their work in on time. He spent no time with them at all and just made excuses.
Now, of course, I have custody of all of them. They're not permitted to stay with their father during the school year unless they have managed to work ahead sufficiently (a minimum of five weeks) so that I don't have to turn around and travel eight hours to pick them up if they don't do their homework for a while.
There are other issues if the nonhomeschooling parent lives in another state. Even if you're handling the homeschooling, you may want to have the nonhomeschool parent check in with the local board of education. In some states, all children who are not in ground school must be documented.
Homeschooling student drivers
If you have a child near driving age, you may have to document your child's attendance so he can get his driving permit. Here in Georgia, the homeschool liaison at the local board of education will fill one out. I just have to present it at the state license bureau when he goes to take his test.
Requirements vary state by state
Most states require that homeschool families document attendance. Some require registration, documentation of work, accredited curricula, testing and approval by the local board of education. About.com and the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) have links to homeschool rules for each state.
Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Texas do not require notice or follow-up. Utah, New Mexico, California, Alabama and Arizona only require that the fact that the child is being homeschooled be reported to the state. However, California requires that a parent establish a private school in order to exempt a student from compulsory public school attendance.
Colorado, Florida, Maine, Maryland, Oregon, Ohio, Virginia and West Virginia require notification and follow-up, as well as periodic testing and evaluation by the local school board. Rhode Island, Massachusetts, North Dakota, New York, Vermont and Pennsylvania monitor the student's progress closely, with some districts requiring curriculum approval, teacher qualification for parents, state-mandated school official visits, frequent tests and evaluations.
Many states mandate national achievement tests
Many states require homeschooled students to take nationally accredited tests, such as the California Achievement Test, on a regular basis. Here in Georgia, they must take them every three years. Many schools will push tests that require you to pay out about $100 and attend a special testing session, most of which are held in large metropolitan area.
My advice is to ask which tests are accepted by the school district. Even if a type of test is not listed, you may be able to persuade your local board of education to put it onto the accepted list if other school districts accept it.
My child was able to take the Iowa achievement test through Bob Jones University Press because I have a bachelor's degree. It was under $100 for the tester application and the test, and he was able to take the test at home.
This was much easier than taking off work and traveling two hours to the closest test site.
You will likely meet some resistance if you want to use an accredited test that is not the usual one used in the district. However, if you homeschool, you should be accustomed to that.
Divorce and custody issues
Legal issues with homeschooling don't always deal with education. If you are a divorced parent, your ex may attempt to use the fact that you're homeschooling in court.
This is one reason why it's important to have a written curriculum, documentation of attendance and records of work done. Most judges are fairly ignorant about homeschooling, but if you can show that you're organized, they'll accept it.
Another problem occurs if the homeschooled child spends part of the time with a parent who has agreed to homeschool him but doesn't.
When I moved, my ex and I agreed to do this. I wrote the curriculum, I assigned the work, and I even agreed to check all the work. All my ex had to do was make sure the kids did the work and sent it in. He flubbed it!
He told the kids the work was too hard for them, when, in reality, it was too difficult for him! He lied for the kids when they didn't turn their work in on time. He spent no time with them at all and just made excuses.
Now, of course, I have custody of all of them. They're not permitted to stay with their father during the school year unless they have managed to work ahead sufficiently (a minimum of five weeks) so that I don't have to turn around and travel eight hours to pick them up if they don't do their homework for a while.
There are other issues if the nonhomeschooling parent lives in another state. Even if you're handling the homeschooling, you may want to have the nonhomeschool parent check in with the local board of education. In some states, all children who are not in ground school must be documented.
Homeschooling student drivers
If you have a child near driving age, you may have to document your child's attendance so he can get his driving permit. Here in Georgia, the homeschool liaison at the local board of education will fill one out. I just have to present it at the state license bureau when he goes to take his test.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Single Working Parent Homeschooling Part IV
Part IV: Accredited versus nonaccredited curricula
I don't have a lot of money, but I do have time and some familiarity with the Web, so I develop my own curriculum. It does follow state recommendations for my child's grade level (check your state board of education for this information), but it utilizes online Websites and books left over from my college courses, purchased at garage sales and bought on eBay or Amazon.
Not only is it cheap, it's flexible. It permits me to add advanced math and remedial reading to my son's curriculum. And if my son has difficulty with some parts, I can find easier teachings until he can get caught up.
Accredited curricula are accredited by regional authorities. Ground schools are accredited by the state. All the virtual schools with which I'm familiar are accredited. Accredited curricula can also be purchased.
Of course, an accredited curriculum can be pretty expensive, what with supplies, Web components, books, etc. I've found that the more expensive the curriculum, the easier it is to tailor it to meet your child's specific needs.
State-sponsored e-schools can be flexible, but I've found it somewhat difficult and time-consuming to do so.
The chief advantage of an accredited curriculum is that it may make it easier if your child ever decides to transition to ground school or if your child wishes to go on to college.
For example, when my 16-year-old decided he wanted to go to ground school after two years of homeschool, the local high school attempted to put him back in the ninth grade because his curriculum was nonaccredited. I had to show them how they were not only flouting state law, but their own local guidelines and threaten a lawsuit before they let him go into eleventh grade. Even then, they forced him to take a whole battery of tests.
Another advantage of an accredited curriculum is that, in legal matters, it's more accepted. For example, if you're ever involved in a custody case or your child goes to court for a minor infraction of the law, an accredited curriculum is an advantage.
When my 15-year-old son was charged with indecent exposure for mooning the school bus (yes, the local barneys have nothing better to do), the judge demanded proof of what he was studying. Having a printed curriculum that followed state standards was very helpful, but the issue never would have come up if he'd followed an accredited curriculum.
I don't have a lot of money, but I do have time and some familiarity with the Web, so I develop my own curriculum. It does follow state recommendations for my child's grade level (check your state board of education for this information), but it utilizes online Websites and books left over from my college courses, purchased at garage sales and bought on eBay or Amazon.
Not only is it cheap, it's flexible. It permits me to add advanced math and remedial reading to my son's curriculum. And if my son has difficulty with some parts, I can find easier teachings until he can get caught up.
Accredited curricula are accredited by regional authorities. Ground schools are accredited by the state. All the virtual schools with which I'm familiar are accredited. Accredited curricula can also be purchased.
Of course, an accredited curriculum can be pretty expensive, what with supplies, Web components, books, etc. I've found that the more expensive the curriculum, the easier it is to tailor it to meet your child's specific needs.
State-sponsored e-schools can be flexible, but I've found it somewhat difficult and time-consuming to do so.
The chief advantage of an accredited curriculum is that it may make it easier if your child ever decides to transition to ground school or if your child wishes to go on to college.
For example, when my 16-year-old decided he wanted to go to ground school after two years of homeschool, the local high school attempted to put him back in the ninth grade because his curriculum was nonaccredited. I had to show them how they were not only flouting state law, but their own local guidelines and threaten a lawsuit before they let him go into eleventh grade. Even then, they forced him to take a whole battery of tests.
Another advantage of an accredited curriculum is that, in legal matters, it's more accepted. For example, if you're ever involved in a custody case or your child goes to court for a minor infraction of the law, an accredited curriculum is an advantage.
When my 15-year-old son was charged with indecent exposure for mooning the school bus (yes, the local barneys have nothing better to do), the judge demanded proof of what he was studying. Having a printed curriculum that followed state standards was very helpful, but the issue never would have come up if he'd followed an accredited curriculum.
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